Stupid Cupid

People seem to have opinions about Valentine's Day. Most people would agree that Thanksgiving is good and Christmas is good and July 4th is good. But ask one hundred people if Valentine's Day is good, I'm betting half of them would answer with an emphatic no. My daughter has been griping about the upcoming event pretty much since right after Christmas. She hasn't had the Norman Rockwell/Hallmark kind of Valentine's Day that teenage girls believe in. Even though she's had boyfriends on February 14th, the fellows have been clueless. This year is not shaping up so good, either.

I used to be naive about this day, also. I got a giant wakeup call the second year of my marriage when my husband gave me on this most romantic of all days . . . . a set of ankle weights. I was not amused. Which freaked him out because I worked out every day and he honestly put some thought into what I might like and/or use. After that, he was afraid to get me anything because he didn't know the criteria for romantic Valentine's gifts. Now, I really couldn't care less if Valentine's Day comes and goes and I don't care about any gifts. Because a long time ago I realized that I don't need a day for my husband to prove his love with flowers or chocolates. This is what I have every day.

I have known hubby for almost 25 years. In that time, he has never made a derogatory remark about how I look, what I'm wearing or (and this is a biggie) my weight. And after that second baby, I was pretty pudgy for awhile. Likewise, he has never made negative comments about my cooking or house cleaning. If I try a new recipe, I can tell if he's not thrilled with it, because he doesn't attack it with his usual enthusiasm for my meals. But he wouldn't say "This tastes like crap," even if it did.

I have been in several car accidents since we have been married (one of them was my fault). I didn't have any qualms about calling to tell him. He was always concerned about me and any other passengers (thankfully no one was ever hurt). He didn't ever say anything, not one word, blaming me or complaining about the automobile involved.

I don't have to ask "permission" to do something. Things like going back to school, going out with the girls, or taking the kids for two weeks to visit my family. (Even though he cut the bottoms off all the trees when I was gone, and, when Lois said, "Linda isn't going to like that," he said "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission," which I, regrettably, taught him.) I don't have to ask him for money or whether or not I can make a purchase. Actually, if he got a yearly bonus at work, he would usually give me half to buy whatever I wanted because I worked, even though I didn't get paid.

He has supported whatever I want to do. Going to school, selling Mary Kay (bad idea, I couldn't sell a coat to an Eskimo), volunteering, joining clubs, sitting on Boards, starting a blog. When things didn't pan out (i.e. Mary Kay) he didn't say a word. If I want something, he tries to provide it. I mentioned a couple of books I'd heard about that I would like to read. A few days later a box from Amazon showed up on our doorstep with two books. I was sick of Christmas music by December 1st and said I missed an obscure album we'd had when I was a kid, one with lots of songs and different artists. The thing was actually made for Good Year and I remember being in the store one day when they were giving them away (this was, like, 1965). Hubby got on E-bay and found one that was in good shape. When it came and I opened it, I only got about a million childhood memories back. Now that's romantic.

That is why hubby is my hero and my every day Valentine. Oh, and I did use those ankle weights. I still do. I hope some time my daughter gets a romantic Valentine's Day. And I hope that someday she won't care about it because her husband will treat her with love and respect every day. But if I were Cupid, this year I'd steer clear.