Lowering the Bar

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter and I visited our local wireless phone dealer so that we could have her account switched from my name to hers. The semi-friendly lady who helped us spent a few minutes preparing paperwork, slid it across for us to sign, then called a number somewhere out in the universe. She talked for a couple of minutes and then handed the phone to my daughter. Jess sat there for twenty minutes, every once in awhile saying something like "O.K.," "Yes," etc. I got bored and started wondering what our helpful phone service representative found so compelling on her computer. I had my suspicions. So I got up and wandered around pretending to look at accessories so that I could sneak a peak at her computer screen on my way back to my chair. Sure enough, she was online shopping for blouses.

A few days later, Jess got two large "welcome to our company" envelopes, even though she's had her phone for three years. The information was identical (waste of paper) and confusing. She had to call the customer service people to straighten it out. A couple of days after that, I got a 61 page statement in the mail, even though I had been doing all the business for the phone online (to save paper). Two days after that, I got the exact same 61 page bill. So much for saving paper. The statement indicated that I owed $1.25. I hauled my little self back to the store to pay it, where I was told to call customer service, so I went home and did that. Never talked to a real person, but was told that I owed no money on my account. I tried paying online, but, of course, the account isn't in my name anymore, so that was right out. I ended up writing a check for $1.25 and mailing it to the company. Because you know what will happen if I don't?

My non-existent, zero balance account will go unpaid and I will get a late fee. Which I won't know about because they won't tell me because my account is non-existent. The next month, another late fee will be assessed, and so on and so on until such time as we decide to move and buy another house. Our credit will be checked and we will be told that we are $6,923,438.71 in debt to the wireless phone company.

The other thing that could happen is the exact opposite. Somewhere in their messed up system, they see the $1.25, mistake it for a customer credit, and I end up with a check in my mailbox for $125,000.00. I'm just saying.